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  • Writer's pictureTeQuila Racquel

Winning in The Midst of a Loss

Updated: Oct 12, 2020

It's been 5 years since I've been divorced and I find myself wondering, have I made any progress. They say 5 years in divorced years is the equivalent of 5 months😣. Do I have something to show for it? Am I still stuck or holding on to the loss of a relationship that was a decade of my life? The time I could never get back? Has the loss of that relationship depleted the love in my heart? So many questions, but one thing is for sure if I take a step back and look at the bigger picture- I'm winning. I won the minute I took control over what I wanted in that relationship. I won when I realized I'm much more than what I was given.

Why do we fight the loss and not see what was good in the loss? In any relationship rather it is a marriage, friendship, relationship/situationship, if it did not work out it was a lesson, not a loss. Your treasures are hidden in your losses. It is not until devastation( loss) that we recognize our strengths. The loss is there to mature you. As humans, we are so busy fighting the loss and thinking quite naturally that is what we are supposed to do. We are supposed to fight for what we want, right? Can we take the "L" and turn that into our win? We must admit the weakness we have and don't hide or run from them---that is your strength!

There is always gain in pain! I could not have imagined my life were infidelity would turn, my marriage upside down, and being a single mom. No one could have told me that was my story, and honestly, I'm glad I lost.

I could not have known what real love was if I didn't lose in that relationship---WIN. I could not have spent this time loving myself to realize what it was that I wanted out of a relationship---WIN. I could not be as present in my children's life had I not become a single mother---WIN. It is not until you are surrounded by sorrow and sadness that you have real

joy---WIN. You don't know if you have self-control until you are tempted---WIN. You don't know real love until there is none, so WIN!

The gift of pain is perspective! Here are a few things you can gain from your pain:

Instead of drowning in devastation, mourning that lost:

1. Pick yourself up🏆~you are winning when you choose you.

2. Community🏆~Surround yourself with people, who see you for you, who will speak life to your truth.

3. Change your perspective🏆~Stop looking at the loss like you are defeated, choose to win, change your mindset, and look at the bigger picture.

4. Confidence 🏆~Have confidence in yourself and stand firm on what you believe and need in your life. Have the confidence to leave when things aren't serving you well.

There is no condom for your heart so guard it with your life! Protect it at all costs. Always see that loss for what it is worth a WIN!!

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